December 16, 2011

I'm not sure where to begin. I think I have a lot of stuff to talk about but it's all just sitting around in my head like a warehouse. Give me a little time and I'll work something nice out. traditionally i've used 3 month chunks as "small" units of time so hopefully this wont be like that.

June 14, 2011

Don't ever believe me when I say I'm going to start updating regularly

I think it's been about 5 months or so since I updated or even looked at my blog so if I lost the few readers I did have then it's my own fault. This reclusiveness (what the hell my spellchecker tried to claim that wasn't a word) has not been toward just the internet. It has encompassed my whole lifestyle for the last...span of time. I'm really bad at judging time. Well backwards time anyhow, I have no trouble with punctuality. What I'm saying is (for anyone who doesn't know and might care) that I've been neither talking to nor seeing anyone for any reason; outside my household that is, and drifted into a lifestyle of solitude. I haven't had a job for....a long span of time too, so I have been able to fully devote myself to working out some personal issues and reading. a lot. I've been burning through books lately as my main source of recreation. I also spend several hours every day keeping up on current events and listening to lectures or audiobooks. I have learned more in the past 2 years than  I used to learn in 5 it feels like. I finally have been able to tackle some of the philosophical questions that I had avoided delving into because of the hugeness of the task for a long time. I'm approaching what I feel is a very sound and coherent worldview that has a lot of explanatory power when applied to world events and personal interactions and is also firmly rooted in strong empathy and a respect for human dignity. Through my eyes the world around me and people's behavior now makes sense. That's not especially comforting because most of what is going on in the world right now is awful and knowing the roots of it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. but if there's one thing I've always prized above happiness it's truth. I'd always rather comprehend and be less happy than ignorant and content.

Now that I've writting all that and am about to send it out into the internet to be read by random people I don't know, a few I do (hopefully), and the NSA; I will consider coming up with a topic for a new CONTENT post. I have a lot of things to say about a lot of topics since I've been silent so long. Just remember what the Title of this post is. Don't believe me when I make these sorts of promises.

February 12, 2011

Thanks a Heap

Wow I've been away from the blog for a short time due to some hard core living of life and really digging myself out of the depression that has been close to defeating me for the last 3 years. It;s a struggle but for the first time i have the upper hand.

What's im writing this for is to let you know that I've seen your copious and surely enlightening comments but I haven't had time to read them through in order and form responses. So that will be coming up soon and I also wanted to say im fucking amazed that after i put that traffic counter on my page that i actually hit 50 something views last month. right on.

ok so that's that stuff and soon you will learn things you didnt know. i'd tell you know if it wasnt so urgent of a day.


January 6, 2011

Man Thanks to Those taking time to Read Anything I Write.

As a blogger it's easy to feel like you're just writing to yourself so any time someone even gives a small nod to let you know another human saw what you did makes it worthwhile. I notice I have a problem with consistency no matter how well intentioned I am or how much I promise to write. It really is a microcosm of how I treat most things in my life. I have a lot of extreme feelings and I derive pleasure from things by wringing every last drop it has to offer then leaving it for dead. I don't really feel guilty over that since life is full of so much material to eviscerate that I will never run out.

The way that translates into my writing habits is that for short spurts i will be brimming with ideas, strong emotions, and intense desire to express that mental location while i have the mental wherewithal to do it justice.

Due to my well known proclivity to surface and bombard people with my current mind-state only to dissapear and not be heard from for months by anyone, I felt obligated to lay out enough content to busy someone during my periods of absence. The side benefit of that is if any soul is noble enough to actually take on the recommended material, I will eventually have someone to talk to and glean the gems produced by a capable mind plowing through the same topics that lead me to write or think whatever came out. I spend most of my life feeling very distant, even from the people that i consider close just because none of them have the time or mental tools to put in the work required to just have a casual philosophical chat with me. Not to say I'm above those people by any means, just that they are not playing with the same ideas as me so I just continue on my way and occasionally one of you beautiful blog readers will bless me by reading something i recommended or watching something that moved me.

For me the greatest emotion is being understood. Now that's not to say just reading the same books as me or watching the same lectures means you understand me. You could do all those things and still not cause me to feel understood. But when a person hits that more subtle level where they can see why I think what I think and appreciate it as well as generate thoughts of their own that resonate with me when I hear them.

This blog post is not very content heavy because it was just meant as a thank you for anyone who read anything on this blog. Taylor, if you were my only reader the blog is worth it to me since you are one of the only souls on earth who follow through and pursue the things that inspire me. I'm prone to depression at times, and I get really caught up in the plights of people suffering around the world, but your comments on each blog post are one of the only things in my life that actually put a dent in my negative outlook. I love getting high and playing games and other meaningless distractions but knowing another person is really reading through my list of links and inspirations is like getting a check for a thousand bucks.

I would especially like to thank you for checking out The Ascent of Humanity, I did it through the audio version too and I've never been so moved by any peice of writing. The book is like every single conclusion and semi-formed notion about existence that i've ever felt a conviction about and written in a respectable, intelligent, clear and powerful way. I place it above any religious text man has produced and I dare to say that it basically is my religion. Humanism perfected. The amount of things I dissagreed with probably doesnt even fill a page. Listening to Lyn Garry read some of the passages with unembarassed passion brought me tears of my own at times. More than once I burst out in tears on public transportation.

tay if you get time I'd love to hear which stuff from my last list you were able to explore and what you felt about them. and any of you who I don't know who found anything here you liked I'd love to hear from you as well.

just to add flavor to this post here's a pic