June 14, 2011

Don't ever believe me when I say I'm going to start updating regularly

I think it's been about 5 months or so since I updated or even looked at my blog so if I lost the few readers I did have then it's my own fault. This reclusiveness (what the hell my spellchecker tried to claim that wasn't a word) has not been toward just the internet. It has encompassed my whole lifestyle for the last...span of time. I'm really bad at judging time. Well backwards time anyhow, I have no trouble with punctuality. What I'm saying is (for anyone who doesn't know and might care) that I've been neither talking to nor seeing anyone for any reason; outside my household that is, and drifted into a lifestyle of solitude. I haven't had a job for....a long span of time too, so I have been able to fully devote myself to working out some personal issues and reading. a lot. I've been burning through books lately as my main source of recreation. I also spend several hours every day keeping up on current events and listening to lectures or audiobooks. I have learned more in the past 2 years than  I used to learn in 5 it feels like. I finally have been able to tackle some of the philosophical questions that I had avoided delving into because of the hugeness of the task for a long time. I'm approaching what I feel is a very sound and coherent worldview that has a lot of explanatory power when applied to world events and personal interactions and is also firmly rooted in strong empathy and a respect for human dignity. Through my eyes the world around me and people's behavior now makes sense. That's not especially comforting because most of what is going on in the world right now is awful and knowing the roots of it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. but if there's one thing I've always prized above happiness it's truth. I'd always rather comprehend and be less happy than ignorant and content.

Now that I've writting all that and am about to send it out into the internet to be read by random people I don't know, a few I do (hopefully), and the NSA; I will consider coming up with a topic for a new CONTENT post. I have a lot of things to say about a lot of topics since I've been silent so long. Just remember what the Title of this post is. Don't believe me when I make these sorts of promises.


  1. almost a year ago, i said that once i get through some random 6 to 8 part lecture from some audio blog you recommended me, I would report back with something useful to say. I kept to my word. I never finished so I never said anything. Not that I was trying to make a point with that last comment, but point being, I have a hard time finding focus enough to pursue the goal of coming up with interesting questions and then looking for the answers to them. For me, and I'm sure billions like me, I get caught up in daily bullshit that's infinitely less interesting and at the end of the day, opt to surf porn than pursue meaningful philosophical quests. It seems like you've been doing the opposite. A cogent outlook on the whole of humanity and society is rare, at least without some transparent political agenda behind it. If there's some way you can share an insight or basis or peek into that, it would be a rare privilege, and your toil would hold value beyond yourself. Whether this is the appropriate forum for that or not (I find it hard to imagine facebook or twatter or any ingenious/socially isolating internet medium being an adequate substitute for real interaction, but we have to work within our constraints i guess, huh?), I think the effort is a selfless amd important one, and one that commands too little respect. Its not that no one cares, i think there's a saturation of distraction, be it mindless entertainment or pursuit of personal stability and attaining basic human needs.

    anyways, long story longer, it seems like you have something valuable to share, but haven't realized an outlet to do so. It seems like just having this blog to begin with is evidence that such an outlet is something you want, but haven't realized.

    I have no ideas or suggestions, but I do sincerely hope you find it. Keep in contact.


    ultratot@yahoo.com or taylordavalos@gmail.com

  2. Wow I haven't been to my own blog in over 6 months. you picked a really good time to post a comment there because I've been feeling bad that I haven't updated or even checked for responses in so long. I just recently went through a very...somethingish transition. It was like, you know when you're tripping or in a dream where you wake up into another dream or stage of the hallucination but you always think you are waking up into a clearer conciousness? well I feel like i just got all the way out of the dream. Most of my life i've been struggling to make sense of all the things i see in the world and only now do I feel like I understand what's going on. I no longer feel the need to seek out some other person to put things in a proper context for me because i feel like i've finally grasped what it takes to just understand. I could type about this new paradigm i'm in for pages but i'll just say that I'm finally at the beginning of what i've been scrambling for all these years through articles, lectures, books, conversations, music, movies, etc.

    I was always afraid that my life wouldn't be long enough to get to this point. hah


What can i say? The 'Vette gets 'em wet! HAHA